Surrender - part 2

A bunch of meditation teachers made a recording recently of what their experience of surrendering everything - every thought, feeling and action - to the Stillness was like. For me it was amazing. It reminded me on so many different levels of playing with surrender myself.

I hadn't realised it, but there was a subtle effort to secure an experience I thought I wanted. I know the silence well, but there was a lack of contentment in that experience. There was expectation that somehow, sometime (hopefully soon!), my experience was going to change, get bigger, get more profound. This was frustrating because the experience I was having in any given moment rarely met with expectation.

Instead, it's amazing the difference in allowing the silence to be exactly as it is right now. To simply rest in whatever is there. Instantly my experience of stillness and of life became so soft and embracing. There is an immediate quiet joy and gratitude for my experience and for my life. I love it.

It's also so much more obvious to me now how surrender is one big game of seeing how innocently I can approach every moment. To see the mind setting up expectations and play with simply ignoring them.

I feel so grateful for the ease of this. As opposed to rigidly trying to be still, relaxing and allowing the stillness to be is so much easier and graceful. So much better than forcing and controlling.

I love it!