A Certain Uncertainty

I sat down to write just a few minutes ago and it seems like everything I start to tap away I stop and delete.

I felt in the mood to write something definite, but I'm having a hard time finding anything definite right now.

It reminds me of a joke: I used to be so uncertain, but now I'm not sure...

Anyway... its not the desperate situation it sounds. I'm at peace with this uncertainty, all because of my practice and the experience of inner certainty it gives me. I know there is one certain thing right now: The sense of stillness, of presence and being that is within. I'm definite about that.

Well - I'm definite that it exists right now, I can choose for it right now. Whether its going to be here in the future, again I'm not sure. I'm certain I don't want to take that for granted, I want to enjoy it fully now - not put it on the back burner for later.

But as for everything else, I can't really say for sure.

There is another thing I can think of that is certain: It is my power to decide how I define the events of my life. The power of choice. How do I want to view my life? Is the glass half full or half empty? Is this good karma coming back to me, or is it bad karma? Who knows? Looking back, the events that seemed bad to me back then, on reflection, have put me where I am and made me who I am today. And I'm definitely very grateful for that.

But everything else is so uncertain. Will I be here tomorrow? Will the sun rise again? Will the cat still find away to sit on my lap tonight? Will the strawberries taste as good tonight as they did last night?

Probably, but nothing like a bit of uncertainty to make you enjoy what you have now, to stop you taking things for granted, huh? So why not embrace uncertainty, embrace not sure-ness?

But embrace it only from an absolute foundation in inner certainty, inner sure-ity. Embrace the power of choice, of definition, that you have in how you label the events in your life. Use it to seek to acknowledge that which is beauty, that which is love, no matter how small. Acknowledge it, as it is, right now. Not because it might be here tomorrow, but because you experience it here now.

When you accept this power of choice for goodness, combined with the definite silence and presence within, you tap into the absolute source of love and beauty in your life. And the best bit is that since its up to you, only you can tell me whether or not it is certain. Only you can make this life definite, only you can decide what will last.

I can't think of anything else that creates as much peace as that knowing.