Do you give to get? Or do you give unconditionally?
Perhaps you may give with the expectation that you should give, because that's what you think is expected of you. Perhaps you give because it's good karma - that by giving you'll be in heaven that much quicker? Perhaps you give because then it sets up a flow that means the universe will give to you much more?
In other words: Is giving all about you, and the recipient is only a means so that you can benefit?
Have a look at this because giving is something that is not about you at all. Actually what happens when you give freely is that you lose yourself: The small, fearful, limited you.
When you Ascend you have this opportunity to give absolutely.
You are giving your attention away to the largest of experiences, giving small you up for the vastness of the true you. Its completely unselfish, because you are letting go of the grip on the part of you that is fishy.
Give yourself to this moment, to the Attitude, to the Ascendant, right now. Have no expectations. Make no demands of it. Be humble enough to accept the experience exactly as it is. Let go of any need to make this experience different.
There is the essence of giving.
Not so you can get, but so you realise that you never actually needed. You are giving your attention to the fullness of experience, not the lack. And what you put your attention on consistently grows beautifully in permanence.
Ascend to give, not to get. Tell us what you find out...
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
To Live Or To Die Slowly?
“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”.
Anon
At the end of the movie “Saving Private Ryan”, where the Private Ryan, now in old age, goes to visit the graves of the men that died rescuing him. He breaks down in tears and asks his wife: “Tell me I’ve lived a good life”. He wants recognition that his life has been worthwhile. He’s saying that he knows he was given the chance to live by men who died, and wants to know that he made the most of it.
The scene touched me on so many levels. What it boils down to is this: I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not be sure. Or worse, I don’t want to get to the end and know that I missed something through fear or laziness.
Death is a big prompt for many to question what life is all about. Typically the mind also comes fully to the fore with regret for things said and unsaid, done and undone.
Living a rich, meaningful life for me is living without regret – experiencing the full purity of the Ascendant so that regret has no hold on this moment, and at the same time doing all that I can to fulfil my role in each moment, to make sure no seeds of regret are sown.
The beauty of knowing the Ascendant is that each moment can die cleanly, leaving no trace, so that this moment can be truly lived, fresh and new.
Anon
At the end of the movie “Saving Private Ryan”, where the Private Ryan, now in old age, goes to visit the graves of the men that died rescuing him. He breaks down in tears and asks his wife: “Tell me I’ve lived a good life”. He wants recognition that his life has been worthwhile. He’s saying that he knows he was given the chance to live by men who died, and wants to know that he made the most of it.
The scene touched me on so many levels. What it boils down to is this: I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not be sure. Or worse, I don’t want to get to the end and know that I missed something through fear or laziness.
Death is a big prompt for many to question what life is all about. Typically the mind also comes fully to the fore with regret for things said and unsaid, done and undone.
Living a rich, meaningful life for me is living without regret – experiencing the full purity of the Ascendant so that regret has no hold on this moment, and at the same time doing all that I can to fulfil my role in each moment, to make sure no seeds of regret are sown.
The beauty of knowing the Ascendant is that each moment can die cleanly, leaving no trace, so that this moment can be truly lived, fresh and new.
Compromise and Success
One of the most powerful moments in my life was at the end of the First Sphere when the Ishayas suggested that I ask myself:
“Where in my life am I compromising?”
It absolutely blew my socks off because compromise was the last thing I wanted to do, yet when directly examined under such a spotlight I saw my life was riddled with compromise.
It was a powerful motivator to move, to go beyond my cosy situation and start to realise what I really wanted to do in life. It remains a potent guide.
This question requires knowing where you are heading - what you consider to be success. Success could mean making a million pounds, or simply getting out of bed every morning. I love that because it’s completely personal, is different depending on which part of your life you are talking about, and changes over time.
So: How do you personally know you are compromising? What is compromise to you? What is success? How do you know you are living a full life?
“Where in my life am I compromising?”
It absolutely blew my socks off because compromise was the last thing I wanted to do, yet when directly examined under such a spotlight I saw my life was riddled with compromise.
It was a powerful motivator to move, to go beyond my cosy situation and start to realise what I really wanted to do in life. It remains a potent guide.
This question requires knowing where you are heading - what you consider to be success. Success could mean making a million pounds, or simply getting out of bed every morning. I love that because it’s completely personal, is different depending on which part of your life you are talking about, and changes over time.
So: How do you personally know you are compromising? What is compromise to you? What is success? How do you know you are living a full life?
Seriously Simple
Why, when it comes to spirituality, do people get so serious and vexed and bent out of shape?
There's plenty of examples in the traditions of the world. Dozy Zen monks being beaten with sticks, guilty Christians whipping themselves, Bodhidharma supposedly tearing off his eyelids so he wouldn't lose awareness when meditating, the predominant image of Jesus being one of pain and suffering, Hindhus doing silly things to their bodies in the name of God.
I've taken things veeeery seriously in my pursuit of joy and peace. I have tried hard to be joy. I thought that I had to fight and strain against my mind, struggle and lock it down in order to experience peace.
I'm so grateful I met the Ishayas. I could quite easily still be starving myself, waking early every morning to do my yoga, criticising myself if I ever wanted to sleep in, or felt the urge to eat an icecream or a meat pie. I made myself sit cross legged and with a straight spine for an hour every day, even though sometimes my whole body cried out for relief.
Weird.
When I met the Ishayas I thought they were simple people. Simple as in stupid cos they were laughing all the time. I thought they might have something with this Ascension business, but obviously they didn't know what they really had because they didn't even take it seriously.
Makes me laugh now at my absolute arrogance. At least I gave Ascension a go because all that arrogance and harshness melted in the face of what the attitudes enlivened in me.
Ascension has given me an experience of complete presence, a beingness that simply takes over any limitation or self violence. There's nothing to do except choose for it and live. Its given me the ability to laugh at everything. Its given me total contentment of what is, exactly as it is.
The Truth requires no seriousness or hardness or processing or guessing or anything to experience it. It also needs no diet or exercise regime or any change whatsoever.
You need nothing else, except right now, choose an Ascension Attitude and live your life.
It is that simple.
You can just let go and trust that that is all that is required.
You can let go and trust that now is enough. Because now is not enough. It is everything.
I'm so grateful for that simplicity, I can't tell you.
There's plenty of examples in the traditions of the world. Dozy Zen monks being beaten with sticks, guilty Christians whipping themselves, Bodhidharma supposedly tearing off his eyelids so he wouldn't lose awareness when meditating, the predominant image of Jesus being one of pain and suffering, Hindhus doing silly things to their bodies in the name of God.
I've taken things veeeery seriously in my pursuit of joy and peace. I have tried hard to be joy. I thought that I had to fight and strain against my mind, struggle and lock it down in order to experience peace.
I'm so grateful I met the Ishayas. I could quite easily still be starving myself, waking early every morning to do my yoga, criticising myself if I ever wanted to sleep in, or felt the urge to eat an icecream or a meat pie. I made myself sit cross legged and with a straight spine for an hour every day, even though sometimes my whole body cried out for relief.
Weird.
When I met the Ishayas I thought they were simple people. Simple as in stupid cos they were laughing all the time. I thought they might have something with this Ascension business, but obviously they didn't know what they really had because they didn't even take it seriously.
Makes me laugh now at my absolute arrogance. At least I gave Ascension a go because all that arrogance and harshness melted in the face of what the attitudes enlivened in me.
Ascension has given me an experience of complete presence, a beingness that simply takes over any limitation or self violence. There's nothing to do except choose for it and live. Its given me the ability to laugh at everything. Its given me total contentment of what is, exactly as it is.
The Truth requires no seriousness or hardness or processing or guessing or anything to experience it. It also needs no diet or exercise regime or any change whatsoever.
You need nothing else, except right now, choose an Ascension Attitude and live your life.
It is that simple.
You can just let go and trust that that is all that is required.
You can let go and trust that now is enough. Because now is not enough. It is everything.
I'm so grateful for that simplicity, I can't tell you.
"Why God, Why?"... When Life Hurts
I had the belief that the more spiritually advanced I got, the more my life would become free of challenge and sadness.
The challenges of life, big and small, haven't stopped. People I love die, grow old, get sick. I still have to pay the bills, I have to clean the toilet. Life in all its colours and shades continues. But my reaction to it has changed.
From what I have lived through, I can tell you this: Peace is possible in any situation. Painful events may be there, but ongoing, soul questioning suffering is, when it comes down to it, a choice, optional.
This is the invitation of all the world's teachers, and it's true: There is salvation.
When my mum died of cancer, I was surprised to find myself responding in the way I did. Rather than see it as a loss, the overwhelming response was of fullness, of celebration for her life. I was grateful for the time I did have with her, the fact that in no small way she helped make me what I am today.
It was an amazing experience, and one that came because of my Ascension practice.
When life hurts, it means we aren't accepting what is. We're fighting, we're struggling, we're shaking our fist at God and asking "WHY?". As Eckhart Tolle pointed out, the answer is always this:
If you can't change or leave a situation, the only solution is to allow and accept. Anything else is torture, and nothing or no one can stop the pain until you stop struggling. Everytime.
Ascension gives you this acceptance, just by your willingness to set aside the cares of the moment, step into presence and say an Ascension Attitude.
The more you gently immerse yourself in the Ascendant, the more you become non-resistance itself. God sees fit to place you here, and remove this person to here, so be it. No longer do you question and fight, but you find it simpler and simpler to allow, involve yourself in presence again and do what you can do. Life becomes free.
Of course, it is easy to make the choice for seeing the glass half full, to accept, to see the positive when everything is going well. Its a different kettle of fish when its not.
If its not easy, its time to get help. You don't need to do this alone.
It's worth getting that help. It's worth doing everything you can to be at peace. It's worth re-committing to your practice.
By making the choice now, you set your future ahead of you. This choice becomes easier and easier to make, no matter the situation.
Lao Tzu once wrote: "Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you".
You want that?
The challenges of life, big and small, haven't stopped. People I love die, grow old, get sick. I still have to pay the bills, I have to clean the toilet. Life in all its colours and shades continues. But my reaction to it has changed.
From what I have lived through, I can tell you this: Peace is possible in any situation. Painful events may be there, but ongoing, soul questioning suffering is, when it comes down to it, a choice, optional.
This is the invitation of all the world's teachers, and it's true: There is salvation.
When my mum died of cancer, I was surprised to find myself responding in the way I did. Rather than see it as a loss, the overwhelming response was of fullness, of celebration for her life. I was grateful for the time I did have with her, the fact that in no small way she helped make me what I am today.
It was an amazing experience, and one that came because of my Ascension practice.
When life hurts, it means we aren't accepting what is. We're fighting, we're struggling, we're shaking our fist at God and asking "WHY?". As Eckhart Tolle pointed out, the answer is always this:
If you can't change or leave a situation, the only solution is to allow and accept. Anything else is torture, and nothing or no one can stop the pain until you stop struggling. Everytime.
Ascension gives you this acceptance, just by your willingness to set aside the cares of the moment, step into presence and say an Ascension Attitude.
The more you gently immerse yourself in the Ascendant, the more you become non-resistance itself. God sees fit to place you here, and remove this person to here, so be it. No longer do you question and fight, but you find it simpler and simpler to allow, involve yourself in presence again and do what you can do. Life becomes free.
Of course, it is easy to make the choice for seeing the glass half full, to accept, to see the positive when everything is going well. Its a different kettle of fish when its not.
If its not easy, its time to get help. You don't need to do this alone.
It's worth getting that help. It's worth doing everything you can to be at peace. It's worth re-committing to your practice.
By making the choice now, you set your future ahead of you. This choice becomes easier and easier to make, no matter the situation.
Lao Tzu once wrote: "Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you".
You want that?
Friday, 5 March 2010
Chop chop carry carry
Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.
Zen saying
In the east there is an old story about the appearance of mastery and humility. It is of an old caretaker in the monastery, contentedly serving all by doing the lowly tasks of sweeping and cleaning. The young arrogant monks suspect nothing but an ignorant peasant, but the abbot and older monks know that in their midst lives the greatest Teacher in the land.
The young monks treat the old man with distain and disrespect, the old sage in turn does not care what anyone thinks of him. The story goes that one monk makes friends with the old man and learns much about appearances, ambition, and his own judgements.
I love this story because everyone wants to be someone. Very rare are those that want to be themselves. People want to be famous, to be recognised. With noble intention we want to make a difference, especially if the difference is noticed far and wide.
We also believe that we should be doing something else. That our lives are not noble as they are. That who we are and what we do is not good enough. Many spiritual people fall into this trap. That if we were truly spiritual we would look and act and be a certain way, most definitely different from what we are right now. That we would ‘arrive’ and make an impact on the world through best-selling books and interviews with Oprah. In that vision there is always an assumption that those who aren’t doing that are compromising, that they aren’t complete.
Again in the east, water is used often as a metaphor for humility and service as it flows to the lowest point, serving and supporting all life, able to be transformed to whatever is needed. It has no ambitions beyond to fulfil its purpose in life.
What is our purpose in life? For me it is to dissolve without trace of limitation into the Ascendant. To know absolute love and joy and peace. To follow the will of God in every moment. Perhaps that means chatting with celebrities about inner peace, perhaps it means sweeping the courtyard. It could simply be looking after the people around me, making sure they have what they need and know they are loved. Whatever it is, it is doing it with presence and connection, service and contentment.
Zen saying
In the east there is an old story about the appearance of mastery and humility. It is of an old caretaker in the monastery, contentedly serving all by doing the lowly tasks of sweeping and cleaning. The young arrogant monks suspect nothing but an ignorant peasant, but the abbot and older monks know that in their midst lives the greatest Teacher in the land.
The young monks treat the old man with distain and disrespect, the old sage in turn does not care what anyone thinks of him. The story goes that one monk makes friends with the old man and learns much about appearances, ambition, and his own judgements.
I love this story because everyone wants to be someone. Very rare are those that want to be themselves. People want to be famous, to be recognised. With noble intention we want to make a difference, especially if the difference is noticed far and wide.
We also believe that we should be doing something else. That our lives are not noble as they are. That who we are and what we do is not good enough. Many spiritual people fall into this trap. That if we were truly spiritual we would look and act and be a certain way, most definitely different from what we are right now. That we would ‘arrive’ and make an impact on the world through best-selling books and interviews with Oprah. In that vision there is always an assumption that those who aren’t doing that are compromising, that they aren’t complete.
Again in the east, water is used often as a metaphor for humility and service as it flows to the lowest point, serving and supporting all life, able to be transformed to whatever is needed. It has no ambitions beyond to fulfil its purpose in life.
What is our purpose in life? For me it is to dissolve without trace of limitation into the Ascendant. To know absolute love and joy and peace. To follow the will of God in every moment. Perhaps that means chatting with celebrities about inner peace, perhaps it means sweeping the courtyard. It could simply be looking after the people around me, making sure they have what they need and know they are loved. Whatever it is, it is doing it with presence and connection, service and contentment.
Thursday, 19 November 2009
6 tips on living life fully and without negativity
1. Learn to meditate
Meditation allows you to see what your mind is telling you and gives you the power to choose what you want to focus on. It builds a relationship with who you really are, beyond all the habits and beliefs of the mind. Sometimes we are able to fall gracefully into a state of complete focus, but many times we cannot. Basically this is because most of our life is lived in a scattered way. Our minds are constantly thinking, mostly about things that we have no control over. We are not present with what we are doing. So it is no surprise that when we want or need to focus our attention it is not always easy. Practicing what happens in our conscious awareness is necessary. Greek philosopher Aristotle said ‘We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.’ This habit comes quick through meditation.
There are three things that help with meditation. Firstly, it involves absolutely no force of any kind. Interestingly, so many people try to clear their minds of thought when they meditate. The truth is that this is impossible. You have thoughts flowing through your mind because you are alive. The key to meditation is regaining control of your attention and changing your relationship with your thoughts and feelings, not suppressing the natural tendency of your mind! It becomes so much easier when you appreciate this.
Secondly, a teacher or coach is invaluable. Like learning any skill, a personal trainer helps smooth the way, making progression much faster. They stop you from reinventing the wheel and can answer all the questions you have, helping dispel doubts and keep you on track.
Thirdly, regular practice is necessary because your mind is very much like a muscle. Getting your focus in shape requires gentle persistence and application over time. But as the results are immediate and clear it’s a very motivating thing to practice. Every part of your life starts to benefit when you are there participating in it.
2. Be present and aware
Meditation helps with this, but start noticing when your mind wanders to another time and place. Through habit we are rarely in the same place as our bodies are, with our minds in other places and situations, constantly trying to change the past and control the future. Neither are possible, and we miss out on our lives that are right in front of us right now as well. Buddha said ‘Life can take place only in the present moment. If we lose the present moment, we lose life.’ Even people like businessman Donald Trump agree: ‘I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's were the fun is.’
3. Choose to appreciate
We have the ability to choose to appreciate or condemn (at least something) about every situation or every person we come into contact with. Its like the old choice between seeing the glass as half empty or half full. You can make the choice to be optimistic, and your body and awareness respond in kind. What you put your attention on grows, and what’s more, its our choice. The more you see the good in your life, the more it grows. Be active with your appreciation. Find things to appreciate about the people around you - your family, your friends, your colleagues, and strangers - shop keepers, taxi drivers, people on the street.
4. Be thankful
Related to the above is the power of gratitude. Quite simply you can’t complain and be thankful at the same time. To cultivate the power of gratitude, make a list of the 10 things that you are grateful for in your life. Review the list regularly and realise how much there is in your life. Don’t take anything for granted, especially the people closest to you. Remember to take a moment to see how much people do for you and you’ll never ignore how much goodness is in your life already. Say “thank you”. A call or a card is everything to those that receive it. 14th century German churchman Meister Eckhart once said “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "Thank You", that would suffice.”
5. Watch complaining carefully
Complaining is the opposite of appreciation. Sometimes its necessary to blow off a little steam about something, but we always do this for far too long. Eckhart Tolle wrote that complaining “invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim… Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.” “All else is madness”. And as Jesus said too, ‘Judge not…’
6. Give
Giving is the most powerful way to change your state of being. Many large companies and business people already do this in terms of giving money and time to projects of their choosing. You will find that giving is the best way to get what you want. It works with everything. If you want more hugs, give hugs. If you want more understanding, be understanding. If you want more money, give money. If you want more knowledge, give knowledge.
Find the time and energy to give to others and you’ll find it revolutionary, especially if you are stuck in a rut. There is nothing like giving to take the attention off your problems and give you a wider, more complete perspective on life.
Meditation allows you to see what your mind is telling you and gives you the power to choose what you want to focus on. It builds a relationship with who you really are, beyond all the habits and beliefs of the mind. Sometimes we are able to fall gracefully into a state of complete focus, but many times we cannot. Basically this is because most of our life is lived in a scattered way. Our minds are constantly thinking, mostly about things that we have no control over. We are not present with what we are doing. So it is no surprise that when we want or need to focus our attention it is not always easy. Practicing what happens in our conscious awareness is necessary. Greek philosopher Aristotle said ‘We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.’ This habit comes quick through meditation.
There are three things that help with meditation. Firstly, it involves absolutely no force of any kind. Interestingly, so many people try to clear their minds of thought when they meditate. The truth is that this is impossible. You have thoughts flowing through your mind because you are alive. The key to meditation is regaining control of your attention and changing your relationship with your thoughts and feelings, not suppressing the natural tendency of your mind! It becomes so much easier when you appreciate this.
Secondly, a teacher or coach is invaluable. Like learning any skill, a personal trainer helps smooth the way, making progression much faster. They stop you from reinventing the wheel and can answer all the questions you have, helping dispel doubts and keep you on track.
Thirdly, regular practice is necessary because your mind is very much like a muscle. Getting your focus in shape requires gentle persistence and application over time. But as the results are immediate and clear it’s a very motivating thing to practice. Every part of your life starts to benefit when you are there participating in it.
2. Be present and aware
Meditation helps with this, but start noticing when your mind wanders to another time and place. Through habit we are rarely in the same place as our bodies are, with our minds in other places and situations, constantly trying to change the past and control the future. Neither are possible, and we miss out on our lives that are right in front of us right now as well. Buddha said ‘Life can take place only in the present moment. If we lose the present moment, we lose life.’ Even people like businessman Donald Trump agree: ‘I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's were the fun is.’
3. Choose to appreciate
We have the ability to choose to appreciate or condemn (at least something) about every situation or every person we come into contact with. Its like the old choice between seeing the glass as half empty or half full. You can make the choice to be optimistic, and your body and awareness respond in kind. What you put your attention on grows, and what’s more, its our choice. The more you see the good in your life, the more it grows. Be active with your appreciation. Find things to appreciate about the people around you - your family, your friends, your colleagues, and strangers - shop keepers, taxi drivers, people on the street.
4. Be thankful
Related to the above is the power of gratitude. Quite simply you can’t complain and be thankful at the same time. To cultivate the power of gratitude, make a list of the 10 things that you are grateful for in your life. Review the list regularly and realise how much there is in your life. Don’t take anything for granted, especially the people closest to you. Remember to take a moment to see how much people do for you and you’ll never ignore how much goodness is in your life already. Say “thank you”. A call or a card is everything to those that receive it. 14th century German churchman Meister Eckhart once said “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "Thank You", that would suffice.”
5. Watch complaining carefully
Complaining is the opposite of appreciation. Sometimes its necessary to blow off a little steam about something, but we always do this for far too long. Eckhart Tolle wrote that complaining “invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim… Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.” “All else is madness”. And as Jesus said too, ‘Judge not…’
6. Give
Giving is the most powerful way to change your state of being. Many large companies and business people already do this in terms of giving money and time to projects of their choosing. You will find that giving is the best way to get what you want. It works with everything. If you want more hugs, give hugs. If you want more understanding, be understanding. If you want more money, give money. If you want more knowledge, give knowledge.
Find the time and energy to give to others and you’ll find it revolutionary, especially if you are stuck in a rut. There is nothing like giving to take the attention off your problems and give you a wider, more complete perspective on life.
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